


loving takes a while (and that's okay)

by rayistired



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, Emotional Baggage, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Gender-neutral Reader, Not Beta Read, Other, Reader is awkward, Self-Insert, Soulmates, Tony Angst, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Touch-Starved, protective Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 01:07:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18906400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayistired/pseuds/rayistired
Summary: You were sitting on the fancy bar stool with a cocktail in hand, still praying that someone would somehow pay attention to you.And now here you are, looking straight at the drink in your hands as Tony Stark, The Tony Stark, slid over the next stool, a Cheshire grin displayed on his face as he asked the barman for a whiskey.He looked at you and waited as you took a deep breath and looked back at him, trying to find the courage. "Uh... Hi."Way to fucking go.





	loving takes a while (and that's okay)

Tony Stark is a charmer.

He opens the door for his dates, makes them laugh, buys the most expensive gifts, gives them the best night of their lives and kisses them goodbye.

Yeah, he is a playboy but his mama taught him to be a gentleman. Call him whatever you want, but Tony Stark would never force himself on someone who wasn't feeling it.

He likes to take care of them, even if it's just for a night. He loves to shower them with affection and makes sure they get nice clothes, jewels and fancy drinks after, even if he wasn't satisfied.

Tony loves giving affection but never really receives it.

The last time a person dedicated themselves to please him in not just a sexual way, she left him to pursue her own happiness, saying it was better for both of them to keep it distant until he found the right one. Ha. As if Tony would ever find someone better than her.

So yes, here he is in one more party of the year. This time some kind of charity so he didn't feel too sick to be around but the hungry stares he was receiving did make him crawl a bit on the inside. If this was years ago maybe his ego would be bursting with the attention, now his anxiety just makes him want to throw up and run away.

But he's an expert at acting, so no one notices it.

No one but you.

Now, you're not a millionaire or a huge genius, just a small company trying to do some good. You're the CEO of H&T, short for Health and Technology. Your business is basically centred on using technology as a way to help people's health not just like a prosthetic but also mentally. A bit more focused on building A.I.'s that helps people with depression and other types of mental health disorder that could use a tiny little bot with an extremely sensitive system over human's feelings, able to understand, sooth and give a company until they healed a bit to reach for other people.

And this charity was just what you needed. Some of your few co-workers told you that you are too kind sometimes, using a lot of money to donate to the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation and going as far as taking from your own bank account.

You didn't care, it was for a good cause.

You had the chance to talk to some other big CEO's, even if most of them paid you no attention -when I say most, I mean everyone-. But as the "party" prolonged it just turned out to be a bunch of huge companies who donated mostly nothing and were here just so they could have an excuse to talk with other big rivals.

That's when you noticed the beautiful man surrounded by people who clearly wanted nothing more than jump in his pocket. It was sad, really, when everyone noticed Mrs Potts without her ring the only thing the media focused on was how _'Tony Stark is now back in the game, ladies!'_ , not a single article talking about if they were both okay.

You had loved his work for years now, ever since you were in your teens and he had just blown the science world away. You accompanied his life even before and you remembered being proud of him when he decided to stop manufacturing weapons. Jesus, you were in love with a man that had a pretty big gap between you two.

Being in your twenties and loving a man in his forties wasn't easy, precisely when you never really talked to him, and if you tried people would surely call you a golddigger.

But damn, you couldn't help. Precisely when he caught you staring and you just had to swoon over those warm chocolate eyes which hold so much knowledge and pain but still tries. He smiled at you, excusing himself from the conversation that he wasn't having and chuckled when you tried to hide behind your drink.

You were sitting on the fancy bar stool with a cocktail in hand, still praying that someone would somehow pay attention to you because your social skills decreased to 0 when a man from a company made you walk away from a conversation, claiming that you were probably someone's assistant.

And now here you are, looking straight to the drink in your hands as Tony Stark, The Tony Stark, slid over the next stool, a Cheshire grin displayed on his face as he asked the barman for a whiskey.

He looked at you and waited as you took a deep breath and looked back at him, trying to find the courage. "Uh... Hi.".

Way to fucking go.

But that seemed to amuse him to no end, he was probably reached out or stared by confident people who knew what they wanted in parties like these, not by some youngling with an awkward personality.

"What do I own the honour to be stared by someone as beautiful as you?" You faced exploded in a deep red, reaching as far as your nack and the tip of your ears. Your friends always said you could never date someone with a suave type of personality, and damn, maybe they were right.

"Uh, I, I didn't want to- Oh God, I'm- I'm sorry." If your co-workers saw you like this they would laugh so much as you're normally really confident in your workplace, even bossy if the day was shit.

Tony's chuckle made you shut up and swallow the row of apologies, staring at him as he thanked the bartender and looked back at you.

"I don't mind." He took a sip of the whiskey. "So, I'm guessing you're a CEO?" That made your blush subside, looking at him with wide eyes. He was the first person to finally guess right, giving you a boost of confidence.

"Yeah- I'm mean, Yes." You smile a bit to yourself. "I'm the CEO of H&T. We are a small company, so this is really great for us..." Even if no one notices me. The words go unspoken but Tony seems to catch it in your eyes, something playing in them before he smiles again.

"So, a small company donating a great deal of money is very unique." He says with a playful tone and you almost choke.

"Uh- I- Wait, Mr Stark, how- How did you know..?"

"These types of charity are pretty much a cover to other business, darling." The pet name makes you actually choke on your drink, making Tony laugh for a second before patting your back softly. "I asked Friday to keep an eye on the companies who actually donated and you're the second place, beaten by moi." His sudden French makes you smile a bit when you finally recover.

He didn't need to explain who Friday was, everyone already knew and you fell head over heels for them.

"Isn't that kind of illegal, Mr Stark?" You ask him softly.

"Yep, but I love making business with people who actually care, so I'm here." Your eyes go wide again and you turn completely to him, not breathing.

You stare, waiting for him to laugh or say _'Whoopsy, I'm joking.'_ , but nothing. His beautiful eyes don't stray away.

"Wait, wait, wait, Mr Stark, you can't be serious, right?" His amused smile makes you panic a bit more. "I mean, for fuck's sake, you don't even know my name!"

He snorts at your bold words, caught by surprise. Suddenly, he takes his phone out of his pocket and types something, mischief written all over his face when he turns back to you and says your name.

You're not even surprised by that, but then he looks at his phone again and he hums satisfied. "M.I.T., hm? Weird how I never heard of you before."

It's your turn to chuckle a bit as you recomposed yourself, nodding when he looked at you with eyes that you couldn't read but were so damn expressive.

"Mr Stark, you really want to make business with us?" The question is tentative and a bit shy, but the smile he gave you made you shudder. Us. You clearly meant the whole company and that felt just right with him.

"Absolutely, I got very interested in your project, precisely your whole presentation about the A.I.."

You two spent at least an hour and a half talking about your plans for the future and how it could help so many people. Tony listened quietly with a smile as you ranted and ranted about your projects and dreams, never getting bored or making you stop if not just to add some ideas that made your eyes shine in excitement.

You didn't know how he got you to be so relaxed as if he was your old friend and made you talk his ear off, how he grinned every time you had to stop to catch your breath. You didn't notice his eyes slipping to your lips sometimes, but being very attentive when he explained some of his own ideas. It was like you two were each other's half when it came to the projects.

You also didn't know how you ended with Tony bringing you back to his rebuilt malibu house to see one of his new inventions that could match a lot with yours and explain how Friday works, as she is something you really wanted to see and learn since it's a very critical part to the robots.

He looked at you so... unusually fond when you greeted her shyly, asking how she was.

He found you so amazingly interesting. You didn't have a single ounce of malice when talking to him, not a hint of other intentions even when he explained how Friday's core worked, something that he never thought he would do as now you could easily, well, not easily, but had a better idea of how to penetrate her systems.

Now he watched you as you greeted DUM-E with a handshake, practically melting as you talked of how cute he is.

"I almost donated this idiot to Midtown High School when he spilt coffee all over one of my suits." He laughed at your incredulous look, somehow blushing at how cute you were. _Jesus, Tony, keep it cool man_.

"How could you?! He's such a cutie." DUM-E patted your head when you said it, making you whine at how goddamn adorable he was. "Look at him, Tony! Did you ever see someone this cute?"

His heart ached when you said 'someone' and not 'something', finally finding someone who understands him. Tony can't help but bite his lips before muttering. "You're cuter."

"What?"

"I said if you think so." He looked at Butterfingers, hiding his blush as he fiddled with his fingers, suddenly self-conscious. That's new. "I think I'm cuter."

You stop before walking to a table across from him. Your old confident-self coming back. No people to judge you as Tony only made you get out of your shell and tell you he liked you to be more open. "Oh honey, you're the cutest."

Now it's his time to choke and turn pink.

This person, this young genius who is incredibly intelligent and could definitely put hundreds under their feet and that just in some hours clearly showed him they were entirely there for their business and even though they kept treating him with not just respect but kindness and patience when he started to ramble about ideas, just called him 'cute'.

Now don't misunderstand Tony. He is totally used to compliments. Genius, hot, entertaining, exciting, handsome, sexy and even elegant, but the last time someone called him cute was when he was sparring a bit with Steve and he punched the patriot on the face. Funny thing was that Tony's hand almost broke but didn't leave even a red mark on his face.

He heard you laughing and for a second he thought it was a nice sound to have around the house. "No, scratch that, you're adorable." He threw his hands to cover his face unconsciously.

"Gosh, stop."

Your chuckling ceased and he looked at you again, watching carefully as you put on a kind of fond, nostalgic smile on your lips, seating by his side on the table.

"What is it?" He asks softly. Even though you two were side by side you didn't scoot closer to get a little touch on him. Tony is used to people wanting to rub on him every chance they got, you wouldn't be one of them and touch him without consent or knowing he's entirely comfortable.

"I just... I just- I don't know, really." You sigh, a tourbillion of emotions rush inside you but you push them back, ignoring the way he catches on. "I mean, I've been watching you since I was a kid, I looked up to you as if you were a type of all-powerful God, more than just a playboy that the media showed and way more than just an arrogant genius."

The room had some kind of heavy vibe but you refused to look at him or stop, you just had to get this out of your chest. It could be your only chance.

"Then... Then you, you got kidnapped and I remember panicking so much, I think I had my first panic attack." You laughed as he looked at you with unreadable eyes. "God, I was so stressed, not sleeping, not eating or even talking to anyone really, until you came back, shut Stark Industries weapon factory." You looked at him, both of you with mixed feelings inside. "Gotta tell you, Tony, I was really proud, and now I'm here, you know? With the only person in the whole world that I always thought would never look back to me, in his personal garage talking about a possible future partnership."

He stared at you for some seconds, like he was searching for something and it made you feel self-conscious for a second, turning back to look at your shoes when his voice, small and hesitant, hit your ears. "And was- Did I live up to your expectations?" You saw that he was kind of scared, but why?

"If you- Tony, you're way more than anyone could ever imagine." You made sure he heard the honesty in your voice and you didn't like the way he flinched. "You listened to someone everyone thought was useless and wouldn't ever go anywhere, you're the only one who I ever saw do so much for young adults and teens in colleges and school because you know they need it more than anyone else, you know that anxiety and depression are not something that we create just to grab attention and you put your everything to help." His eyes trembled with a wet glint and you carefully put your hand over his, testing to see if he rejected it.

Tony folded his hands under yours, grasping it.

"Tony, you're a hero and not just in the Iron Man kind of hero, you know feelings, you know people, you make mistakes, you suffer, you regret but in the end, you still use those experiences to something better of it." You took a deep breath, trying to keep the feelings even. "Jesus- You deserve so much more than you're given credit for."

A bit of silence lets you hear his harsh breaths and see his trembling form. Tony coughs, turning away from you and wiping his eyes.

"Well, this escalated quickly." He tries to play it cool, scratching his throat. You thought he would try to walk away, but no, he kept still, hands in yours. "But, thanks... I'm not everything that but, yeah, thanks." He wanted to sound stoic but you clearly could hear he was grateful.

"Yeah, you're way more than I could ever describe." You laugh when his jaw clenches and a pink colour covers his cheeks.

The room turned to have its comfortable vibe back as you two just sat there. You thumb slowly brushed over his knuckles, having an almost feathery type of touch, afraid this would shatter.

"You know, when I was a kid, I always thought I would surpass my dad, be the biggest influence in the world and live doing great inventions." He took a breath, not used to opening himself to people like that, precisely people he had just met.

But he couldn't help, something about you made his whole body go soft and tongue spit everything.

"But now I don't really know what I am, what's my job, what I should do." His eyes meet yours, sadness, confusion, frustration and fear all mixed inside his warm chocolate eyes. "Wakanda is open and the world finally can see that my tech is falling far behind everyone's expectation, I'm pretty sure there are at least ten more newborn vigilantes who can do my work without breaking a sweat but I'm still here, getting to act like I'm not getting tired of everything and that maybe I should just work behind the scenes."

You want to hug him so fucking much, he gives you the most pained puppy dog eyes. He's lost and no one really sees it.

"I just want to support my team as they handle it, I can fund everything they want, give them everything they need but- just not..." He struggled to finish, knowing wanting what he wanted to say but finding himself hesitant, like it was a taboo.

"Just not have your face splattered everywhere in a way danger can follow you easily?" You grimaced instead of smiled, eyebrows furrowing as you tighten your hand around his softly as if to make sure he knew that you were by his side.

"Yeah, yeah..." He swallowed, a shiver of nervousness crawling in his spine, he felt a bit sick, guilty.

"You have every reason to tap out." He shook his head and you brought your other hand to his other arm, turning him ever so slightly to you. "I mean it, you did enough."

"No, I didn't." Tony's eyes carried so many emotions and pent-up feelings that you felt a lump forming in your throat. "Cap has been fighting for so, so long and I never heard him whine, but here I am..."

"Hey, you're not Captain Rogers." Jesus, he was so exhausted of people's expectations. "And I'm more than sure that Cap feels the same, I mean- the guy has been around fighting, again and again, but he's not supposed to whine, to complain." You remember the day you went to Captain America's museum. "The character he was forced upon made him a weapon and nothing more than an image to the country, I mean, people expect him to be the perfect, apple pie hero who will follow orders and never go against the governs laws."

And it's true. Tony knows, he saw it on a magazine once. He wasn't surprised to read that everyone expected Steve to be straight, never curse, obey the law, be the biggest patriot ever and serve. They see him as a soldier, a weapon.

"Tony you and I both know he doesn't show any signs of weakness because he's not supposed to, he's a leader, he probably has nightmares every night and blames himself every time anyone gets hurt, but he has to be impenetrable, fearless." You remember the day you went to Captain America's museum. "But you have to know..."

He listened to every word with a newfound focus, wanting to know where you were getting at.

"Heroes or not, you guys are humans, you have feelings, you hurt and you cry and you mourn." The deep honesty made him feel warm inside. "No one has any fucking right to step in your way, in any of your guys' way, if you want to stop." The tone was a bit rushed, you wanted to make your point fast and straight down. "There are plenty of heroes out there, they just rely on you guys, the bigger image, to keep hidden, but at the moment that the news comes out and everyone discovers that Captain America or Iron Man decided to step back and live their lives, they will come running."

He felt like a bit of weight was somehow lifted from his shoulders just by talking to you. It's not everything, not nearly so. But it's a start. He wondered how you knew so much, how you understood them so profoundly like that even though the govern just pushed them over and over again to fight harder every day. You, a simple, amazing person, understood that even though he had a suit as armour, he still had human skin and a heart that bled.

"Yeah, maybe we will." He takes a shallow breath, deciding to step away, pathetically missing the warmth you were giving him. "But now we will focus on H&T."

The next hours seemed to go quickly. You and Tony spent it talking in soft tones, hands brushing here and there, ideas being traded and comforting eyes locking on one another.

No one said anything about the sudden emotional outburst from both sides, but you didn't need to. It felt right talking like that.

It neared five o'clock in the morning when you two decided to take a break, go to the kitchen and make a quick snack. Tony didn't expect you to be fascinated by the view of the dark sea in front of the house. He had forgotten how beautiful it was as he had stopped appreciating years ago.

With you by his side, he saw how truly beautiful it was. The moon shone brightly against the water but not enough to outshine the stars, making such a beautiful black canvas in the sky with an astonishing view of the universe.

You two sat on the couch, cups of water in hand. You had raised an eyebrow when he grabbed a bottle of scotch, making him quickly dismiss the option with a charming laugh. Your shoulders were leaned against each other even though it was an enormous sofa, not even really thinking about it when you two inclined on one another. It just felt so damn natural.

Tony's head drifted far away. He definitely felt weird about the events, yes, Tony was used -or at least had been- to bring people home, be them for sex or... no, it was always for sex before Pepper. He never brought business inside and hangouts with Rhodey outside or goes to the Tower. It was the first time he let someone he met like, 8 hours ago? Inside his house and lab.

But it felt right. That's the thing. They made him feel comfortable, they listened, they had the same level, if not more, of excitement as he had when talking about their science, they treated the bots and Friday as if they were Tony's family members, which they are. Tony was and is someone who always felt lonely the second someone left him, he craves and needs someone, a friend, by his side.

Back then Jarvis always entertained him and stood by his side with his English sarcasm, not only being a family but a piece of his past as well. Now, Friday is more like an assistant than anything else, her voice doesn't really contain the warmth that Jarvis had nor makes him feel familiar, it's like talking to Pepper when she has to contact him. Direct to the point with no stalling.

And now you brought all that passion back with your breath-taking smile, thoughtful gaze and warm hands.

Tony will never believe in fairy tales, even if he's friends with a god and a man that survived 70 years frozen in ice, he just can't. Everything is science, maybe different than Earth's, but science nonetheless. But right now he could totally let himself wonder about soulmates and the red bond of fate.

If this shit was real, he really prayed for everything and anything out there just so you two could be soulmates.

And when you have to leave, Tony doesn't let his disappointment show, nor does he smile bigger than he should when you give him your personal phone number so you both could be in contact, for business or not, none of you knows.

It's with a quick hug that you leave his house after making him promise he will sleep and not drink until he fell on his ass. It's with a smile that Tony tells you to go to sleep the moment you set your foot inside your house because you were already swaying.

It's with hearts feeling a little bit lighter than both of you fell into a dreamless sleep.


End file.
